This Always Happens

Yesterday I bore my testimony in church for the first time in a long time. I think I was a little closer to the spirit because I was actually fasting, which I hadn't done in over a year. Anyway, every time I do, I always don't say everything that I want that is in my heart. So I wanted to write down on this blog that little piece of my heart.
Right around the time that Curt and I started dating my mom was on her daily walk when she suddenly couldn't breath, and basically collapsed. The friend she was with was able to get her to the hospital quickly, and it turned out she had 2 blood clots: one in each lung. Without going into too much detail, the next year was very difficult for our family, most especially for my mom. She suffered from post-traumatic-stress syndrome, which lead to anxiety/depression. I don't know all the details, but I believe that she had developed the clots from the birth control she was on. They tested her blood for any mutation that would have caused the clots. When it came time for my premarital exam, my mom requested that I be tested for the blood-clotting factors as well, as that would affect the type of birth control I would be on. The results came back and I do, in fact have the blood mutation that can cause clots. Thus, my doctor prescribed a birth control with no estrogen since an increase in that hormone ups the chances of developing a clot. Interestingly enough, my mom's tests came back negative for any mutation.
A little more than a year later, Curt and I decided it was time to start a family, and soon after, I became pregnant. Somewhere in all the stress of being new to a huge city, trying to find a doctor, and all the other emotions that come along with pregnancy, and because it had been a year since I found out about it, I neglected (forgot) to tell my OB about this certain blood mutation.
9 uneventful months later, my beautiful baby girl was born without a single complication.
So, while in the recovery room when my OB came to check on me, my mom mentioned this mutation that I honestly had not thought about in over a year. The Dr. glared at me and told me that if she had known, I would have been on a special medication. (Oops). She then referred me to a hemotologist who I went to see a few weeks later.
The hemotologist told me that I should consider myself very lucky. He went on to explain that having this certain blood mutation made my chances of miscarrying 7 to 8 times higher than what is normal. I feel kind of dumb for not knowing this, but when you're pregnant you have a whole lot more estrogen running through your body than when you're not. And for me, more estrogen equals higher risk of having a blood clot. If I would have developed a clot in my placenta, my dear sweet baby would not have lived.
When he told me this, I was shocked. I thought back to the day that I found out I was pregnant and the prayer that I offered to my Heavenly Father thanking him for giving me the chance to be a mom. I remembered the 2 priesthood blessings that Curt had given me: one soon after we found out the news and one the day we went into the hospital. I remembered a special moment I had in my first trimester after reading a friend's blog about cherishing every moment with your child. Up to that point in my pregnancy I'm kind of ashamed to say that I was not excited to be pregnant. The sickness was miserable, I was so worried about how we were going to afford a child, and I was honestly scared to death about giving birth. But after I read her sweet story of taking time to enjoy the important little things, the Spirit whispered to my heart that this child was meant to come to my family at this time. I felt peace, knowing that I, and this child, was in Heavenly Father's hands and that this was the right thing for me to be doing.
This strengthened my testimony that Kambria is supposed to be here, in my family, at this time. I am so truly blessed. I'm so so so grateful for my sweet daughter and that she is healthy. I am humbled to know that my life is in my Heavenly Father's hands and it is also on His timetable, not mine. I know that my role and calling in life is to be a mother and I feel so honored that He trusts me with His sweet little spirit. I KNOW He answers prayers! I KNOW that He is aware of me and He loves me and He loves my baby girl so much more perfectly than I ever will. I cannot say enough how grateful and blessed I feel that He protected me and Kambria through the pregnancy and that I didn't have any blood clots, despite the fact that I had forgotten about my condition and that statistics and the Dr. say I am lucky. I know it wasn't luck, it was a blessing. It was so so hard to watch my mom suffer all that she did, but I will always be grateful to her; I may have never known about my blood mutation and maybe someday down the road, knowing about it may save a life.
Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ live! I know they do. This is my testimony, and I write it in the name of my Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.