I've been thinking about 2 experiences that I had right after Kambria was born and I wanted to record them, so here goes.
The first time I drove anywhere without Kambria was just a few days after she was born. I left her with my mom to fun a few errands. When I was pregnant with her I always talked to her on my commute to work. I used to tell her to not follow my bad example of calling other drivers idiots because that wasn't a very nice thing to do. So when I was all by myself in the car, I felt really sad that I didn't have my little baby girl to talk to.
During that week that my mom stayed with us to help out, she suggested that Curt and I go on a date. We had already eaten dinner so we decided to just go out for frozen yogurt. We went to Town Square (just 10 minutes away), got our yogurt, walked around for a few minutes and decided to head home. On the drive back I had this overwhelming feeling of missing my sweet baby girl. I couldn't hold back the tears as I thought of how precious she is to me. We hadn't been gone for very long, but after 9 months of having her spirit inside of me I felt lonely without her. When we got home she was sleeping on my mom's lap. I scooped her up and just held her and cried some more.
I know that this was the result of the Baby Blues, but I want her to always know how much she means to me and how much I absolutely love her. I try so hard to tell her every day that she is precious and loved and special to me!
Monday, October 26, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
This Always Happens
Yesterday I bore my testimony in church for the first time in a long time. I think I was a little closer to the spirit because I was actually fasting, which I hadn't done in over a year. Anyway, every time I do, I always don't say everything that I want that is in my heart. So I wanted to write down on this blog that little piece of my heart.
Right around the time that Curt and I started dating my mom was on her daily walk when she suddenly couldn't breath, and basically collapsed. The friend she was with was able to get her to the hospital quickly, and it turned out she had 2 blood clots: one in each lung. Without going into too much detail, the next year was very difficult for our family, most especially for my mom. She suffered from post-traumatic-stress syndrome, which lead to anxiety/depression. I don't know all the details, but I believe that she had developed the clots from the birth control she was on. They tested her blood for any mutation that would have caused the clots. When it came time for my premarital exam, my mom requested that I be tested for the blood-clotting factors as well, as that would affect the type of birth control I would be on. The results came back and I do, in fact have the blood mutation that can cause clots. Thus, my doctor prescribed a birth control with no estrogen since an increase in that hormone ups the chances of developing a clot. Interestingly enough, my mom's tests came back negative for any mutation.
A little more than a year later, Curt and I decided it was time to start a family, and soon after, I became pregnant. Somewhere in all the stress of being new to a huge city, trying to find a doctor, and all the other emotions that come along with pregnancy, and because it had been a year since I found out about it, I neglected (forgot) to tell my OB about this certain blood mutation.
9 uneventful months later, my beautiful baby girl was born without a single complication.
So, while in the recovery room when my OB came to check on me, my mom mentioned this mutation that I honestly had not thought about in over a year. The Dr. glared at me and told me that if she had known, I would have been on a special medication. (Oops). She then referred me to a hemotologist who I went to see a few weeks later.
The hemotologist told me that I should consider myself very lucky. He went on to explain that having this certain blood mutation made my chances of miscarrying 7 to 8 times higher than what is normal. I feel kind of dumb for not knowing this, but when you're pregnant you have a whole lot more estrogen running through your body than when you're not. And for me, more estrogen equals higher risk of having a blood clot. If I would have developed a clot in my placenta, my dear sweet baby would not have lived.
When he told me this, I was shocked. I thought back to the day that I found out I was pregnant and the prayer that I offered to my Heavenly Father thanking him for giving me the chance to be a mom. I remembered the 2 priesthood blessings that Curt had given me: one soon after we found out the news and one the day we went into the hospital. I remembered a special moment I had in my first trimester after reading a friend's blog about cherishing every moment with your child. Up to that point in my pregnancy I'm kind of ashamed to say that I was not excited to be pregnant. The sickness was miserable, I was so worried about how we were going to afford a child, and I was honestly scared to death about giving birth. But after I read her sweet story of taking time to enjoy the important little things, the Spirit whispered to my heart that this child was meant to come to my family at this time. I felt peace, knowing that I, and this child, was in Heavenly Father's hands and that this was the right thing for me to be doing.
This strengthened my testimony that Kambria is supposed to be here, in my family, at this time. I am so truly blessed. I'm so so so grateful for my sweet daughter and that she is healthy. I am humbled to know that my life is in my Heavenly Father's hands and it is also on His timetable, not mine. I know that my role and calling in life is to be a mother and I feel so honored that He trusts me with His sweet little spirit. I KNOW He answers prayers! I KNOW that He is aware of me and He loves me and He loves my baby girl so much more perfectly than I ever will. I cannot say enough how grateful and blessed I feel that He protected me and Kambria through the pregnancy and that I didn't have any blood clots, despite the fact that I had forgotten about my condition and that statistics and the Dr. say I am lucky. I know it wasn't luck, it was a blessing. It was so so hard to watch my mom suffer all that she did, but I will always be grateful to her; I may have never known about my blood mutation and maybe someday down the road, knowing about it may save a life.
Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ live! I know they do. This is my testimony, and I write it in the name of my Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.
Right around the time that Curt and I started dating my mom was on her daily walk when she suddenly couldn't breath, and basically collapsed. The friend she was with was able to get her to the hospital quickly, and it turned out she had 2 blood clots: one in each lung. Without going into too much detail, the next year was very difficult for our family, most especially for my mom. She suffered from post-traumatic-stress syndrome, which lead to anxiety/depression. I don't know all the details, but I believe that she had developed the clots from the birth control she was on. They tested her blood for any mutation that would have caused the clots. When it came time for my premarital exam, my mom requested that I be tested for the blood-clotting factors as well, as that would affect the type of birth control I would be on. The results came back and I do, in fact have the blood mutation that can cause clots. Thus, my doctor prescribed a birth control with no estrogen since an increase in that hormone ups the chances of developing a clot. Interestingly enough, my mom's tests came back negative for any mutation.
A little more than a year later, Curt and I decided it was time to start a family, and soon after, I became pregnant. Somewhere in all the stress of being new to a huge city, trying to find a doctor, and all the other emotions that come along with pregnancy, and because it had been a year since I found out about it, I neglected (forgot) to tell my OB about this certain blood mutation.
9 uneventful months later, my beautiful baby girl was born without a single complication.
So, while in the recovery room when my OB came to check on me, my mom mentioned this mutation that I honestly had not thought about in over a year. The Dr. glared at me and told me that if she had known, I would have been on a special medication. (Oops). She then referred me to a hemotologist who I went to see a few weeks later.
The hemotologist told me that I should consider myself very lucky. He went on to explain that having this certain blood mutation made my chances of miscarrying 7 to 8 times higher than what is normal. I feel kind of dumb for not knowing this, but when you're pregnant you have a whole lot more estrogen running through your body than when you're not. And for me, more estrogen equals higher risk of having a blood clot. If I would have developed a clot in my placenta, my dear sweet baby would not have lived.
When he told me this, I was shocked. I thought back to the day that I found out I was pregnant and the prayer that I offered to my Heavenly Father thanking him for giving me the chance to be a mom. I remembered the 2 priesthood blessings that Curt had given me: one soon after we found out the news and one the day we went into the hospital. I remembered a special moment I had in my first trimester after reading a friend's blog about cherishing every moment with your child. Up to that point in my pregnancy I'm kind of ashamed to say that I was not excited to be pregnant. The sickness was miserable, I was so worried about how we were going to afford a child, and I was honestly scared to death about giving birth. But after I read her sweet story of taking time to enjoy the important little things, the Spirit whispered to my heart that this child was meant to come to my family at this time. I felt peace, knowing that I, and this child, was in Heavenly Father's hands and that this was the right thing for me to be doing.
This strengthened my testimony that Kambria is supposed to be here, in my family, at this time. I am so truly blessed. I'm so so so grateful for my sweet daughter and that she is healthy. I am humbled to know that my life is in my Heavenly Father's hands and it is also on His timetable, not mine. I know that my role and calling in life is to be a mother and I feel so honored that He trusts me with His sweet little spirit. I KNOW He answers prayers! I KNOW that He is aware of me and He loves me and He loves my baby girl so much more perfectly than I ever will. I cannot say enough how grateful and blessed I feel that He protected me and Kambria through the pregnancy and that I didn't have any blood clots, despite the fact that I had forgotten about my condition and that statistics and the Dr. say I am lucky. I know it wasn't luck, it was a blessing. It was so so hard to watch my mom suffer all that she did, but I will always be grateful to her; I may have never known about my blood mutation and maybe someday down the road, knowing about it may save a life.
Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ live! I know they do. This is my testimony, and I write it in the name of my Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Thank you Dr. Weissbluth!!
Ok, so Curt and I were about at our wits end with not getting a good nights rest. We really felt like she was ready to be trained to sleep through the night. She's almost 6 monhs old! You know those emails I talked about a few posts ago? The ones from babycenter that give parents all kinds of tips? Well, we found one that actually worked! A few weeks ago we stopped feeding Kambria when she would wake up in the night. We wanted her body to get used to not eating for 10 or so hours because until that happened, we knew she would want to eat in the middle of the night. So for a while we would go in and put the binky in, pick her up and rock her, yadda yadda until she fell back asleep.
Then we read about Dr. Weissbluth's method of helping your child sleep through the night. It was basically a "cry it out" method, but a little nicer. He suggested that when the baby starts crying, you wait a couple minutes, then go in and pat your baby, reassure them, but don't pick them up! Spend just a minute or so with them and then leave, even if they are still crying. Then you wait 5 minutes and do the same thing. After that, you go in every 10 minutes until they are sleeping again. He said at the most it would take a week.
The first couple of nights, I would give her the binky and it settled her down really well. I didn't know if she was ready to go cold turkey without the pacifier. But then I realized, HELLO! If I keep giving her the binky, then she will keep needing it! So then we committed 100% to the new method. And you know what? It only took ONE NIGHT! She woke up at 4 and cried until 5. It was hard and frustrating, but since that night we have not had to go in and reassure her! A couple of times, she has fussed, but only for a minute and then has been able to soothe herself.
HALELUJAH!
She now sleeps for 10 or 11 hours consecutively and it is wonderful! I only hope that she keeps it up, and that it wasn't a fluke. Now if only I could train MY body to sleep through the night again :) I'm so used to waking up in the night (it's been over 6 months since I have slept through the night: the last month of my pregnancy I would wake up every time I needed to roll over), that I've been waking up even without her crying. But I am hopeful that it won't take too long.
HOORAY! I'm so happy that my baby has learned how to sleep though the night. I say, it's about time!!
Then we read about Dr. Weissbluth's method of helping your child sleep through the night. It was basically a "cry it out" method, but a little nicer. He suggested that when the baby starts crying, you wait a couple minutes, then go in and pat your baby, reassure them, but don't pick them up! Spend just a minute or so with them and then leave, even if they are still crying. Then you wait 5 minutes and do the same thing. After that, you go in every 10 minutes until they are sleeping again. He said at the most it would take a week.
The first couple of nights, I would give her the binky and it settled her down really well. I didn't know if she was ready to go cold turkey without the pacifier. But then I realized, HELLO! If I keep giving her the binky, then she will keep needing it! So then we committed 100% to the new method. And you know what? It only took ONE NIGHT! She woke up at 4 and cried until 5. It was hard and frustrating, but since that night we have not had to go in and reassure her! A couple of times, she has fussed, but only for a minute and then has been able to soothe herself.
HALELUJAH!
She now sleeps for 10 or 11 hours consecutively and it is wonderful! I only hope that she keeps it up, and that it wasn't a fluke. Now if only I could train MY body to sleep through the night again :) I'm so used to waking up in the night (it's been over 6 months since I have slept through the night: the last month of my pregnancy I would wake up every time I needed to roll over), that I've been waking up even without her crying. But I am hopeful that it won't take too long.
HOORAY! I'm so happy that my baby has learned how to sleep though the night. I say, it's about time!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
