Has it Really Been a Year?

My baby is turning 1 on Sunday. Holy smokes, that year went by so fast! Every time I think about it I get a lump in my throat and teary-eyed. She's not going to be a baby anymore! And if I'm having this much trouble with her first birthday, I'm going to be a wreck as she gets older and starts doing things like going to school, or turning 16, or oh my goodness get married! Ok ok maybe I'm overreacting. But really, she is growing up so fast. I have learned so so much from her! I absolutely LOVE being a mom and there's no doubt in my mind that it's what I am supposed to do with my life. I have never been happier. That's not to say that it's been a walk in the park. It hasn't. There have been some days when even though I love my daughter with all of my heart, I've wanted to pull my hair out and scream. But I thank my Heavenly Father every single day for the blessing of being a mother. I have a few close friends who, for some reason have not been blessed with children at this point in their lives. My heart aches for them. I pray for them often.
Over the past year, my weaknesses have become very clear to me. I am so far from perfection, and sometimes I get discouraged about that, but I try to do my best. It humbles me to know what aspects of my life I need to work on.
Lately Kambria has been so adorable! I have no words to describe how much joy her cuteness brings to me :) She babbles all the time: in her crib, in the high chair, in the car, in church. She doesn't say any words yet, but she cocks her head to the side and squints and smiles and babbles and I just want to eat her up, it is so cute! I want to remember her baby attributes because I know that before I know it she will be so big. She follows me around all day, and sometimes wants to be held more than I have hands for. But I will cherish this time now because some day, she might not think that hanging out with me is so cool after all. She is beginning to learn how to give loves, and she gives great open-mouth kisses :) She means the world to me and I want to give her the very best. Including my best self.
I'm all choked up just writing all of this. I just wanted to write down my feelings about this sweet little girl who has brightened up my life immensely. I guess when she stops being a baby I'll have to have another one :)