Ever since Kambi's birthday, it seems that every day she becomes more of a little girl and less of a baby. She picked up on the gesture for "I don't know" and does it all the time. So cute. She babbles "dada dada dada" a lot, although I'm not sure if she knows what it means. Other than that, she doesn't say any real words. I try so hard to get her to say "Mama" but to no avail. I'm trying to teach her how to feed herself with a spoon. It's going to take some time. Sometimes she gets excited and flings the spoon around, thereby throwing food everywhere. It takes all of my patience to let her do this. I know with enough practice she will eventually get it.
I'm thinking that sometimes when I expect things from Kambi, the exact opposite happens. For example. I was so set on "teaching" her to sleep through the night by the time she was 3 months old (thanks to Babywise, but I'm not going to start on that) but she didn't actually do it until she was 6 months. Whereas other parents I talk to, who just go with the flow have babies that sleep just great at 3 months or earlier. Also, I've really wanted to encourage her to like books and reading (not so much TV) so we've bought tons of books, and I try so hard every day to read to her . But she will have none of it. For a long time she would just eat them, literally. She doesn't do that anymore really, but she WILL NOT sit and listen to a book no matter what I do. I don't even try and read it, just look at the pictures and talk about it, but she won't sit for even 10 seconds. It frustrates me to no end. I guess I just can't make her do or be who I want her to be, she will be who she is.
Anyway, she is super cute and is learning new things every day. I am so happy to be her mother! I would not trade it for anything in the world.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Has it Really Been a Year?
My baby is turning 1 on Sunday. Holy smokes, that year went by so fast! Every time I think about it I get a lump in my throat and teary-eyed. She's not going to be a baby anymore! And if I'm having this much trouble with her first birthday, I'm going to be a wreck as she gets older and starts doing things like going to school, or turning 16, or oh my goodness get married! Ok ok maybe I'm overreacting. But really, she is growing up so fast. I have learned so so much from her! I absolutely LOVE being a mom and there's no doubt in my mind that it's what I am supposed to do with my life. I have never been happier. That's not to say that it's been a walk in the park. It hasn't. There have been some days when even though I love my daughter with all of my heart, I've wanted to pull my hair out and scream. But I thank my Heavenly Father every single day for the blessing of being a mother. I have a few close friends who, for some reason have not been blessed with children at this point in their lives. My heart aches for them. I pray for them often.
Over the past year, my weaknesses have become very clear to me. I am so far from perfection, and sometimes I get discouraged about that, but I try to do my best. It humbles me to know what aspects of my life I need to work on.
Lately Kambria has been so adorable! I have no words to describe how much joy her cuteness brings to me :) She babbles all the time: in her crib, in the high chair, in the car, in church. She doesn't say any words yet, but she cocks her head to the side and squints and smiles and babbles and I just want to eat her up, it is so cute! I want to remember her baby attributes because I know that before I know it she will be so big. She follows me around all day, and sometimes wants to be held more than I have hands for. But I will cherish this time now because some day, she might not think that hanging out with me is so cool after all. She is beginning to learn how to give loves, and she gives great open-mouth kisses :) She means the world to me and I want to give her the very best. Including my best self.
I'm all choked up just writing all of this. I just wanted to write down my feelings about this sweet little girl who has brightened up my life immensely. I guess when she stops being a baby I'll have to have another one :)
Over the past year, my weaknesses have become very clear to me. I am so far from perfection, and sometimes I get discouraged about that, but I try to do my best. It humbles me to know what aspects of my life I need to work on.
Lately Kambria has been so adorable! I have no words to describe how much joy her cuteness brings to me :) She babbles all the time: in her crib, in the high chair, in the car, in church. She doesn't say any words yet, but she cocks her head to the side and squints and smiles and babbles and I just want to eat her up, it is so cute! I want to remember her baby attributes because I know that before I know it she will be so big. She follows me around all day, and sometimes wants to be held more than I have hands for. But I will cherish this time now because some day, she might not think that hanging out with me is so cool after all. She is beginning to learn how to give loves, and she gives great open-mouth kisses :) She means the world to me and I want to give her the very best. Including my best self.
I'm all choked up just writing all of this. I just wanted to write down my feelings about this sweet little girl who has brightened up my life immensely. I guess when she stops being a baby I'll have to have another one :)
Saturday, February 13, 2010
To Cut or Not to Cut
Ugh. I am so sick of my hair!! Every so often I get the urge to chop all of my hair off. I've basically ALWAYS had long hair. And usually, I really like it. I debate back and forth, back and forth, should I cut it, should I not... And usually my wussy side wins out and I don't cut it because I get scared. 2 years ago I decided to take the plunge and cut it, but I didn't dare go too too short. The result? A medium hair cut that was somewhat cute straight, but so poofy and so ugly when I did it curly. So I didn't like it and have grown it out ever since. Here is the internal debate this time:
One thing I keep telling myself is that if I cut it short, I'll have to straighten it all the time because it would be poofy if I did it curly. Then I realized, I straighten it all the time anyway! Maybe one time in a month do I ever do it curly anymore.
Kambi is always grabbing my hair, therefore it is in a ponytail almost EVERY DAY. Even when it's in a ponytail, she can still get to it.
It bugs me when I sleep.
Maybe a cute hair do would take the focus off my acne covered face.
I get headaches a lot. Maybe because of the weight of my hair.
My hair takes forever to grow. If I hate the cut, it will be a long long time to get long again.
Who can I get to cut it and how much would it cost.
Hm, save money on shampoo and conditioner.
Curt likes my hair long.
I shed so bad and since it's so long, it clogs drains and gets all over everything.
I wouldn't be able to put it in a ponytail if I wanted to.
This is the internal debate
One thing I keep telling myself is that if I cut it short, I'll have to straighten it all the time because it would be poofy if I did it curly. Then I realized, I straighten it all the time anyway! Maybe one time in a month do I ever do it curly anymore.
Kambi is always grabbing my hair, therefore it is in a ponytail almost EVERY DAY. Even when it's in a ponytail, she can still get to it.
It bugs me when I sleep.
Maybe a cute hair do would take the focus off my acne covered face.
I get headaches a lot. Maybe because of the weight of my hair.
My hair takes forever to grow. If I hate the cut, it will be a long long time to get long again.
Who can I get to cut it and how much would it cost.
Hm, save money on shampoo and conditioner.
Curt likes my hair long.
I shed so bad and since it's so long, it clogs drains and gets all over everything.
I wouldn't be able to put it in a ponytail if I wanted to.
This is the internal debate
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Hello Again
Wow, that last post was forever ago! Kambi has changed so much since then. Time is just flying.
This post is only kind of related to being a mommy. 2 significant physical changes (well, many more than that, but I'm only writing about 2) happened during my pregnancy. 1) My hair was so healthy!! I don't think I lost a single strand. 2) I started to break out with pimples more than I ever had. I had read that that was quite common in pregnancy, and they weren't huge or bright red or anything, so I patiently endured. Well, I had my baby and immediately got my pre-pregnancy hair back, but my complexion didn't change. Over the next few months it got worse and worse until it was out of control. When I was in Logan for Thanksgiving, I almost didn't say hello to an old friend I saw because I didn't want her to see me and my face. I started avoiding mirrors and cameras, and that's when I knew that something had to be done. I wanted to see a dermatologist, but it is so hard on a college student budget to think of spending anything that isn't totally and utterly necessary, and for a long time I wasn't on insurance. I had to tell myself that the acne all over my face did not change anything about my worth as a person, and that I was still me despite my less-than-perfect looks. Curt has been so good throughout this whole trial; he tells me all the time that I'm beautiful and that he loves my smile.
Anyway, I went to an esthetician to get a facial, thinking that she would cleanse my pores and give me a product that would actually work on my face. Well, to make a long story short, on my 2nd facial she pretty much told me that I would have to get regular facials every 2 to 4 weeks for it to make a difference. YIKES! There's no way I could afford that! AND she went on to tell me that basically, the only type of cleanser or make up that I should ever dare to put on my face is the product she sells, and a select few other salon brands. (of course these are WAY more expensive than what I normally buy). When she told me I would have to come back for facial #2, I started feeling a little uneasy about the whole thing, but at this point I thought to myself, "I do not trust this lady and there's no way I'm coming back." (It was so painful, having her extract black heads...ouch!)
I finally was able to get insurance, and the minute I did, I called a dermatologist. Of course, I have to have a referral from another dr to see a specialist, so now I am going to a family dr next week to (hopefully) have her look at my face and say, yes, this girl needs some help. I really hope and pray that I can finally get my face cleared up! This problem has weighed on me so much over the last several months and I'm ready to feel better about myself again.
This post is only kind of related to being a mommy. 2 significant physical changes (well, many more than that, but I'm only writing about 2) happened during my pregnancy. 1) My hair was so healthy!! I don't think I lost a single strand. 2) I started to break out with pimples more than I ever had. I had read that that was quite common in pregnancy, and they weren't huge or bright red or anything, so I patiently endured. Well, I had my baby and immediately got my pre-pregnancy hair back, but my complexion didn't change. Over the next few months it got worse and worse until it was out of control. When I was in Logan for Thanksgiving, I almost didn't say hello to an old friend I saw because I didn't want her to see me and my face. I started avoiding mirrors and cameras, and that's when I knew that something had to be done. I wanted to see a dermatologist, but it is so hard on a college student budget to think of spending anything that isn't totally and utterly necessary, and for a long time I wasn't on insurance. I had to tell myself that the acne all over my face did not change anything about my worth as a person, and that I was still me despite my less-than-perfect looks. Curt has been so good throughout this whole trial; he tells me all the time that I'm beautiful and that he loves my smile.
Anyway, I went to an esthetician to get a facial, thinking that she would cleanse my pores and give me a product that would actually work on my face. Well, to make a long story short, on my 2nd facial she pretty much told me that I would have to get regular facials every 2 to 4 weeks for it to make a difference. YIKES! There's no way I could afford that! AND she went on to tell me that basically, the only type of cleanser or make up that I should ever dare to put on my face is the product she sells, and a select few other salon brands. (of course these are WAY more expensive than what I normally buy). When she told me I would have to come back for facial #2, I started feeling a little uneasy about the whole thing, but at this point I thought to myself, "I do not trust this lady and there's no way I'm coming back." (It was so painful, having her extract black heads...ouch!)
I finally was able to get insurance, and the minute I did, I called a dermatologist. Of course, I have to have a referral from another dr to see a specialist, so now I am going to a family dr next week to (hopefully) have her look at my face and say, yes, this girl needs some help. I really hope and pray that I can finally get my face cleared up! This problem has weighed on me so much over the last several months and I'm ready to feel better about myself again.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
All About My Baby Girl
I wanted to write down some things about Kambria:
She LOVES loves LOVES being outside. If we don't go outside and do something, every day, she gets really antsy. Any time she is cranky, going outside will always settle her down.
She hates hates hates getting her face wiped! She tries to wiggle her way out of it, and screams when I successfully wipe off the milk/baby food/spit up from her cute face.
She never sits still. EVER.
Kambria is the most intense baby I've ever met. When she is happy, she is extremely happy and her whole face lights up. When she is mad, she is extremely mad. Watch out.
She loves it when I turn on music and dance with her.
Kambria loves to be a part of the action. She knows when there's a party going on and she better be invited!
She has her own sort of crawl and can get around fairly well now. Recently she started to be able to pull herself up to standing. (Where did my newborn go?!)
She has 2 teeth on the bottom and is getting her top ones too.
She doesn't like getting dressed or undressed. She earnestly tries to roll over and crawl away any time this torture time comes along.
She is so strong!
She loves squash (just like her dad).
She looks almost exactly like her mom.
She loves it when we put a blanket over her and say "Where's Kambi?" She swats her arms to get the blanket down (usually her legs are going just as fast as her arms are) to reveal her gigantic smile.
She loves to just watch us. I can put her in her rocker in the kitchen while I do the dishes or cook and she will be thoroughly entertained.
When I'm getting her ready for a nap (laying out the blanket, giving her the wubby) she laughs. It's so cute.
She loves to splash in the bathtub! By the time we are done, the floor is wet, the mirror has water clear to the top of it, and Curt and I are soaked :)
She is a tummy sleeper and has been since she learned how to roll over. Occasionally I'll find her with her knees tucked up under her belly and her bum in the air. Love it!
She has a kind of silent laugh. She grins from ear to ear, with the smile reaching her eyes, but doesn't make any noise except for an occasional squeal.
She can kick her legs like nobody's business. (And she does it, ALL THE TIME!)
She does NOT like to cuddle! There are only 2 exceptions: (1) when we are around people she's not very familiar with, if they try to talk to her or hold her she'll bury her head in my shoulder, and (2) when she's tired, but not overly tired, she will let me cradle her and rock her before I put her to bed. (if she's overly tired she will try to wiggle out of my arms).
Changing her diaper can be a real challenge. She stiffens her legs so that you can't get in and wipe her down. This is, of course, when she actually stays on her back for you and is not rolling over.
Kambria is a MIRACLE and she makes me so so happy. I am truly blessed to have her in my life. Every day I am grateful that I carried her full-term, with no complications, and that she is healthy. I wouldn't change being a mom for anything in the entire world!!
She LOVES loves LOVES being outside. If we don't go outside and do something, every day, she gets really antsy. Any time she is cranky, going outside will always settle her down.
She hates hates hates getting her face wiped! She tries to wiggle her way out of it, and screams when I successfully wipe off the milk/baby food/spit up from her cute face.
She never sits still. EVER.
Kambria is the most intense baby I've ever met. When she is happy, she is extremely happy and her whole face lights up. When she is mad, she is extremely mad. Watch out.
She loves it when I turn on music and dance with her.
Kambria loves to be a part of the action. She knows when there's a party going on and she better be invited!
She has her own sort of crawl and can get around fairly well now. Recently she started to be able to pull herself up to standing. (Where did my newborn go?!)
She has 2 teeth on the bottom and is getting her top ones too.
She doesn't like getting dressed or undressed. She earnestly tries to roll over and crawl away any time this torture time comes along.
She is so strong!
She loves squash (just like her dad).
She looks almost exactly like her mom.
She loves it when we put a blanket over her and say "Where's Kambi?" She swats her arms to get the blanket down (usually her legs are going just as fast as her arms are) to reveal her gigantic smile.
She loves to just watch us. I can put her in her rocker in the kitchen while I do the dishes or cook and she will be thoroughly entertained.
When I'm getting her ready for a nap (laying out the blanket, giving her the wubby) she laughs. It's so cute.
She loves to splash in the bathtub! By the time we are done, the floor is wet, the mirror has water clear to the top of it, and Curt and I are soaked :)
She is a tummy sleeper and has been since she learned how to roll over. Occasionally I'll find her with her knees tucked up under her belly and her bum in the air. Love it!
She has a kind of silent laugh. She grins from ear to ear, with the smile reaching her eyes, but doesn't make any noise except for an occasional squeal.
She can kick her legs like nobody's business. (And she does it, ALL THE TIME!)
She does NOT like to cuddle! There are only 2 exceptions: (1) when we are around people she's not very familiar with, if they try to talk to her or hold her she'll bury her head in my shoulder, and (2) when she's tired, but not overly tired, she will let me cradle her and rock her before I put her to bed. (if she's overly tired she will try to wiggle out of my arms).
Changing her diaper can be a real challenge. She stiffens her legs so that you can't get in and wipe her down. This is, of course, when she actually stays on her back for you and is not rolling over.
Kambria is a MIRACLE and she makes me so so happy. I am truly blessed to have her in my life. Every day I am grateful that I carried her full-term, with no complications, and that she is healthy. I wouldn't change being a mom for anything in the entire world!!
Friday, November 6, 2009
Life's Lessons
I did an assignment in high school once that was simply a list of 100 things I had learned. It was an eye-opening assignment, and gave me a chance to be insightful. Since this is kind of a journal to me, I wanted to start recording little things that I learn every day. Here are a few to start out.
I've learned that if I change Kambria's diaper right after she wakes up from a nap, she will pee all over the changing table as soon as I take her diaper off.
I've learned that if you pray for Heavenly Father to help you be a better person, He will give you more opportunities to be a better person. AKA challenges and trials.
I've learned that if I want something done the way I want it done, I have to do it.
I've learned that fresh air can do a world of good for a rough day.
I've learned that there will ALWAYS be dishes to be done, so just do them because I love having a clean kitchen.
I've learned that Kambria needs me to get down on the floor and play with her just as much as she needs me to feed her and take care of her physical needs.
I've learned that I have never been happier than I am now being a stay-at-home mom.
I've learned that if I change Kambria's diaper right after she wakes up from a nap, she will pee all over the changing table as soon as I take her diaper off.
I've learned that if you pray for Heavenly Father to help you be a better person, He will give you more opportunities to be a better person. AKA challenges and trials.
I've learned that if I want something done the way I want it done, I have to do it.
I've learned that fresh air can do a world of good for a rough day.
I've learned that there will ALWAYS be dishes to be done, so just do them because I love having a clean kitchen.
I've learned that Kambria needs me to get down on the floor and play with her just as much as she needs me to feed her and take care of her physical needs.
I've learned that I have never been happier than I am now being a stay-at-home mom.
Monday, October 26, 2009
My Little Best Buddy
I've been thinking about 2 experiences that I had right after Kambria was born and I wanted to record them, so here goes.
The first time I drove anywhere without Kambria was just a few days after she was born. I left her with my mom to fun a few errands. When I was pregnant with her I always talked to her on my commute to work. I used to tell her to not follow my bad example of calling other drivers idiots because that wasn't a very nice thing to do. So when I was all by myself in the car, I felt really sad that I didn't have my little baby girl to talk to.
During that week that my mom stayed with us to help out, she suggested that Curt and I go on a date. We had already eaten dinner so we decided to just go out for frozen yogurt. We went to Town Square (just 10 minutes away), got our yogurt, walked around for a few minutes and decided to head home. On the drive back I had this overwhelming feeling of missing my sweet baby girl. I couldn't hold back the tears as I thought of how precious she is to me. We hadn't been gone for very long, but after 9 months of having her spirit inside of me I felt lonely without her. When we got home she was sleeping on my mom's lap. I scooped her up and just held her and cried some more.
I know that this was the result of the Baby Blues, but I want her to always know how much she means to me and how much I absolutely love her. I try so hard to tell her every day that she is precious and loved and special to me!
The first time I drove anywhere without Kambria was just a few days after she was born. I left her with my mom to fun a few errands. When I was pregnant with her I always talked to her on my commute to work. I used to tell her to not follow my bad example of calling other drivers idiots because that wasn't a very nice thing to do. So when I was all by myself in the car, I felt really sad that I didn't have my little baby girl to talk to.
During that week that my mom stayed with us to help out, she suggested that Curt and I go on a date. We had already eaten dinner so we decided to just go out for frozen yogurt. We went to Town Square (just 10 minutes away), got our yogurt, walked around for a few minutes and decided to head home. On the drive back I had this overwhelming feeling of missing my sweet baby girl. I couldn't hold back the tears as I thought of how precious she is to me. We hadn't been gone for very long, but after 9 months of having her spirit inside of me I felt lonely without her. When we got home she was sleeping on my mom's lap. I scooped her up and just held her and cried some more.
I know that this was the result of the Baby Blues, but I want her to always know how much she means to me and how much I absolutely love her. I try so hard to tell her every day that she is precious and loved and special to me!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
